That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
