There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
