That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
