Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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