I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
