i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
