Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
