Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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