I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
