Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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