The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
