dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
