Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can tuck mytits in my pants
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
