I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
