I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
