I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
