he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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