Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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