he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
