Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
