I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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