id be glad to
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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