I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
