Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize