A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
