She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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