just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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