Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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