I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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