I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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