If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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