Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
