Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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