Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
