I got chris browned last night
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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