im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
