i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
