think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
