Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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