on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You took a bar mat shot.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
