pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I need a beard to bite.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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