11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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