New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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