You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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