I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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