Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Two words: blizzard sex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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