batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
