im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
