What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We are all done wearing pants today
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
