your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
