that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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