Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize