We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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