Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
do herpes really smell.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
