i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
