She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
