I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
