I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
