If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
