if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize