My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
